A Note from Michael Gurian: My beloved wife, Gail Reid-Gurian, GI Managing Director, passed away on August 16th. As she fought pancreatic cancer, she kept up GI work to the end, committed to helping schools and families. In her last days, she asked me to make sure I let all of you know how much she appreciated working with you on the business side of the service we provide. Today’s blog post is comprised of both my journal entry on www.caringbridge.com the morning she died, and Gail’s obituary. Gail will be dearly missed.
The Gurian Institute continues operations via our Program Director, Dr. Glynetta Fletcher (Fletch), our administrative infrastructure, and also my personal attention. We continue our GI work in part in Gail’s honor. Please reach out to us at info@gurianinstitute.com for any need for services that your schools and communities have. Now here’s more about Gail’s journey.
A few hours, after I wrote yesterday night’s post, at 12:45 a.m., Gail passed away peacefully and in comfort. Somewhere around that time, I woke up from a dream of her at the doorway of light. On her face was both happiness and sadness; the former, I believe, because she is free now to leave her cruelly attacked body, the latter, because she will miss us all. When I woke up again at 3:17 a.m. wide awake and my heart beating fast, I knew she was gone. I got out of bed and turned on my cell phone and listened to a message from Hospice confirming her passing.
Gail was a brilliant, beautiful, devoted, and beloved woman. There are few words to express what we feel right now as we begin to grieve her loss. On her behalf, let me thank all of you for your support. You have gone out of your way to be here for her, myself, Gabrielle, Davita, Pam, Jack, Ben, and all our family members, both biological and chosen. You prove that our human community is strong, loving, committed; that only with one another can each of us survive and thrive. Without all of you, I don’t know where we would be now. May Gail’s name be remembered as a blessing by us all.
It will take our family some time to pick up the pieces, especially because from diagnosis to death has been about five weeks; a tidal wave of relentless, almost daily, crises moving through our family in very short time. In a previous post, I think I mentioned that I’ve personally never seen a disease brutalize a person this fast. Dr. Adie Goldberg, who helped us each step of the way (thank you, Adie), used the word “ravaged” to describe it. She is right. Gail was ravaged. Our family has been ravaged, too, but your support is a beauty in all this.
As I face the death of my best friend of 39 years, my wife of 37, I am learning how powerless we really are. At Gail’s birth, eternity poured itself into her material form, then over the last few weeks, ripped itself out of her, cell by cell, never telling her, or us, why. We are heartbroken. But Gail understood the mystery in her way. More than once during her illness, she said, without any rage, “I think the universe wants me to die.” In my dream, I read her eyes as saying, “Mike, I’m okay. Don’t worry. I’ve had a great life. These 65 years gave me everyone I loved.”
Upcoming Service, available in person or on zoom via the Temple Beth Shalom (Spokane) website.
Gail passed away on August 16 at Hospice House in Spokane at the age of 65. She died of complications from pancreatic cancer. The third of three children, she was born to Dean and Margaret Reid in North Platte, Nebraska, on October 12, 1957. Raised in various towns and cities in Nebraska, she attended high school in Lincoln and then college at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln (1979). In Lincoln, she met her best friend, Pam Brown, who became a sister to her and lives in Spokane very close to her.
In 1979, Gail’s degree in Journalism took her to the Houston Post, then the Arizona Republic, then to Spokane where she decided to get a Masters in Counseling at Gonzaga University. Her brother, Tom, had died of complications from a congenital heart defect. In his passing, she confirmed the desire she had always felt to help people directly and devotedly. After getting her degree, she worked as a mental health counselor for the rest of her life, both for agencies such as Elderly Services and Catholic Charities and in private practice.
In Spokane, in 1984, she met Michael Gurian, and the couple married in 1986. That same year, the couple moved to Ankara, Turkey, where Gail became the therapist for the American Embassy and Michael taught at Ankara University. After two years in Ankara, Gail and Mike returned to Spokane. Soon after, daughters Gabrielle (1990) and Davita (1993) were born. Gail raised children while working in counseling and becoming the Managing Director of the Gurian Institute. In 2006, Gail converted to Judaism.
Gail is survived by her husband, Michael, her daughters and spouses, Gabrielle (Jack) and Davita (Ben), her brother Mike Reid, her aunt Kathy (Ron), and her cousins and their spouses in Nebraska and Colorado. She is also survived by her many friends and colleagues, and by the pets she loved, Crimson her dog, and Clover her cat. If you remember the 1960s song with those names in its title, you’ll sense the sweet and loving sense of humor Gail had.
A memorial is being planned for September 7, 6:00 p.m., at Temple Beth Shalom, in Spokane. Donations can be made to SpokAnimal.
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This loving tribute made me weep for this person I had never met. I hope you feel the loving arms of all who know and loved you and her. Blessings in your time of grief.
Michael,
May the God of all comfort grant you and your family His peace.
It is with heavy heart and my deepest of compassion and sympathy that I have to hold this sharing of the passing of your beloved wife and life companion. My heart and soul pray and send blessings of loving kindness and support for you, your loved ones and friends who knew, loved and truly valued Gail’s presence in their lives. She will be greatly missed, yet her memory and the impact she has left on the lives of others will be cherished as her gift to the world especially the children and families that have benefited from the support and guidance of the Gurian Institute. I will hold this grief in my heart and thoughts. Please let me know if I can do or offer anything. I would love to attend the service if there is a virtual option. In love and light Bonnie