As I listened to Dr. Michele Borba’s 1 :30 minute promo clip for an upcoming conference, I marveled at the thought of what I had longed to put into words all of these years.

After 22 years in education, we still miss the mark in places. Why? Because, in some places, our “lens” is off.

Recently, in our Gurian trainings, I have had teachers and administrators approach me after the training with tears in their eyes. They say that they need to apologize to their own children, and their former students, for not reading the cues that those children gave them. Not recognizing what that particular brain needed …. I always assure them that they did not “ruin” these ​children, but with their new knowledge, how empowered they have now become to read the subtle yet imminent cues those brains give them.

However, in his quest to please parents and to uphold the mission of the district, he rolled out ” rigor, relevance, and relationships” as the “theme of the year”. He proclaimed that everything we did that year was going to be part of the three R’s.

I remember thinking, what he missed was the first”R” -relationships.

One of our Gurian certified trainers and licensed professional counselor by day, Travis Webb, said it so eloquently when we spoke the other day. “Attachment and attunement. We all need to be attached to something bigger than ourselves.” ​

​As we train across the country, the theme continues to ring true. “Pick me!”

“I am over here!” ….. ” ” I want to answer the question!” …. these are not ​defiant children, these are not deregulated children, these are kids looking for one ingredient that we as adults sometimes get wrong: A gain in relationship.