Our newsletter this week features a question by a parent and coach about digital use and the tween brain.   Michael Gurian will be providing a keynote on this very topic at this year’s GI Summer Training Institute in June.  Other speakers this year will integrate the topic into their workshops.

The Surgeon General has just called for a national effort to protect our children’s brains from significant use of screens, devices, and tech.  Brain development–the heart and soul of the child–is at stake as we take control of tech and screens in children’s lives.   To join us at our Summer Institute please visit www.gurianinstitute.com.   Here’s more on tweens and screens.

Dear Dr. Gurian, I currently coach a 9/10 year old boys lacrosse team.  Lacrosse is pretty competitive with the club systems. Thanks to your book I have been observing the group for the last couple years and it has become quite easy to see the correlation between screen time and attention/dopamine–all the things you talk about.  It is quite scary actually. By noting the interactions our own son has with other teammates at times on devices, being around the families and observing the children using devices sometimes in excess of 10 plus hours a day, at events, at home, etc.  Honestly, I think it could be more than that.

With 20 kids on the team I would say at least half fall into this bucket of unsupervised unlimited screen time.  Youtube, ipads, roblox, fortnight, you name it.  We have observed some parents say they aren’t worried at all that their son self regulates himself.  I can notice many of the boys who fall into this bucket speak in a tone or nature that sounds like the videos and games they are listening to and playing.

When I bring these same kids into a huddle they are out of it, not able to take simple directions, unable to handle even slight challenges or setbacks.  Often a little hiccup on the field sends them sideways.   I know these kids are getting too much screen time, but here’s my practical question:  how appropriate it would be for me to address it with my families as we get started in the upcoming season?  Is it just a lost cause or maybe it is just out of line that I address device usage?

My initial thought was to ask the parents to minimize the usage of these devices prior to practice time, prior to games, etc.  Noting to them that we as coaches are trying to develop the kids and can see the impacts on their behavior, performance, etc.  I imagine addressing it with the parents may also piss them off as if I am hating on their parenting.  But, we coaches are volunteers, so we got that going for us.

I also coach wrestling and we spend all day in gymnasiums.  Walking around the events each week there are children gathered around their devices for 8-10 hours and I am sure the long car ride home plus time when they get home so parents can decompress at home adds up to loads of screen time.

Does discussing this with the families do more harm than good? At the end of the day, sports performance is a nice to have, but what we do is more than that as coaches, I think.  I think we are trying to develop the kids as hard working, good-natured young men, and this screen time stuff seems like a real pandemic.

From Gurian:  I interacted with this parent and coach with a YES, please do talk with the parents.   He had written me elsewhere that he gave copies of Saving Our Sons to his friends, so I felt it was okay to suggest he let the parents know about the research in both Saving Our Sons and The Minds of Girls that indicates with certainty:  3 – 10 hours on screens for a 9 or 10 year old is dangerous to their brain development.  As the American Surgeon General recently concurred, and nearly every medical group and agency agrees, children this age should be protected from Smart Phones.  In the two books I just mentioned, I’ve placed birth- college hours-per-day-on-screens suggestions for each age of your child.

At our Summer Institute in June on Zoom, I’ll explore this further with attendees.   For instance, while index phones can be given to children under 14 for convenience, Smart Phones ought not be given to children until 13-14.  Even once given, controls on phones ought to be used.

If a school is one-to-one (a laptop or Pad for each student), then that counts as at least 3 – 5 hours of screen time.  For the tween age group, this is already a lot, so parents will have to especially control screen time at home and after school (e.g. no screen at the dinner table, no video games on school nights, no social media, no screens in bedroom one hour before bed).  If possible, not allowing kids access to Tik Tok and other brain-invasive social media until 15 is recommended, concomitant with a child getting a learners’ permit to drive.  You Tube use needs to be monitored so that it does not become addictive.

Children and Tweens overusing devices, tech, and screens is indeed an epidemic.  Our children’s mental, cognitive, and emotional health is at stake as we face this major social issue.

To learn more about our Summer Institute, please click:  https://gurianinstitute.com/events/gurian-summer-institute-2023/.